My Journey

I have no fitting title

2008-10-15T08:08:00.002-06:00

So I've sat down several time to try and write out just exactly the whirlwind of emotions the past six weeks have been...but I can never seem to find the right words...so instead...a lame survey will suffice for now.

1-What is your salad dressing of choice?
French--especially Monical's

2-What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Red Robin

3-What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Pizza

4-What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Pepperoni

5-What do you like to put on your toast?
Just butter

*TECHNOLOGY*

1-What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Daisies

2-How many televisions are in your house?
2

3-What color cell phone do you have?
Red-ish

*BIOLOGY*

1-Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

2-Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Nope

3-What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Lots of stuff...I just moved.

4-Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Nope

*BULLCRAPOLOGY*

1-If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
I don't think so...

2-If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I like my name just fine.

3-Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
I'd try...

*DUMBOLOGY*

1-Last time you had a run-in with the cops
Probably when I got a speeding ticket over a year ago.

2-Where do you want to be in 5 years?
Married...probably with a child.

3-Last person you talked to?
Kris and my boss

4-Last person you hugged?
Sam

5-Last person to text message you?
Rock the Vote...I wish I knew how to stop that.

*FAVORITOLOGY*

1-Season?Fall

2-Holiday?
Thanksgiving

3-Day of the week?
Friday

4-Month?
September

*CURRENTOLOGY*

1-Missing someone?
Yes...very much so.

2-Mood?
Tired...ready for a nap.

3-Listening to:
The printer at work.

4-Worrying about?
Money...as always.

*RANDOMOLOGY*

1-First place you went this morning?
Work

2-What can you not wait to do?
Find out what I'm doing with Dan on Friday...he won't tell me!

3-What's the last movie you saw?
My dear boyfriend took me to see Nights in Rodanthe...he's such a trooper.

4-Do you smile often?
I think so.

Disappointing

2008-08-23T20:46:00.004-06:00

I got an e-mail today that just made me weep.

Read the story here.

Mike Guglielmucci, the singer/songwriter who wrote the song “Healer" for Hillsong United came out and confessed he had been lying about his illness for two years. He actually doesn't even have cancer at all. He does however have a sickness. I can't even wrap my head around it other than to know that God still loves him and Mike G. still very much needs Him. It's just so crazy to me. The author of the e-mail I received said it well and I'll quote it here...

"This is a shock and it is accompanied by great disappointment and even bitterness toward Mike G. However, there is redemptive hope in the fact that the words of the song and the emotions you feel when it is heard were stirred by accurate, biblical, provable characteristics of God. We all have been deceived by a man, but the truths that resounded in us should echo still. God is a healer and we can trust in Him completely. It’s just a shame this instance tainted our perception of that reality.

Prayers for Mike Guglielmucci would be a good idea. Also, Hillsong was unaware of Mike’s lies and they are scrambling to retain credibility within their church and partnering churches. Pray that the church (Big C) all over the world remains healthy and whole."

Also pray for his wife, his family, and his ministry as none of them even knew the truth.

My Soundtrack

2008-05-14T21:36:00.003-06:00

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...

Opening Credits:
Alabaster - Rocky Votolato

Waking Up:
Snails - The Format

First Day At School:
Dog Problems - The Format

Falling In Love:
When Your Mind's Made Up - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova (Once Soundtrack)

Fight Song:
O For A Thousand Tongues To Sing - David Crowder Band

Breaking Up:
9 Crimes - Damien Rice

Prom:
Think As Thieves - Dashboard Confessional

Life:
Our Love is Not Their Business - Andy Davis

Mental Breakdown:
All at Once - The Fray

Driving:
Zac and Sara - Ben Folds (Live)

Flashback:
Shadowfeet - Brooke Fraser

Wedding:
Death Came and Got Me - Rosie Thomas
*This would be the worst wedding song EVER!

Final Battle:
Lonely People - Augustana

Death Scene:
Time Travel is Possible - Bastian

Funeral Song:
Whisper - A Fine Frenzy

End Credit:
Sweep Me Away - Charlie Hall

Repost this and try it out yourself, it's pretty neato!

Overwhelmed.

2008-04-24T17:20:00.002-06:00

Life has been hard lately. And I don't think for just me. Lots of people seem to be going through a rough season. Why does it happen like that? I miss when things were simple...when my only worry was how I was going to get a ride to the show this weekend and finishing up last minute projects for my business classes. I feel like the past month has been just one long string of me letting people down. Mostly myself.

Regan Faith Mills

2008-04-17T15:33:00.002-06:00

"At 11:28pm Wednesday April 16th Regan Faith Mills' faith was made sight. While in bed with her Big brother Ryder and Big sister Rylee with Brian and I right at her side and feet surrounded by a crowd of nurses, doctors, her Nana and Papa along with Shannon and Rob Maupin. With no struggle or medication assistance Regan took her last breath and let go of her body and was made New......." -Chantell Mills

Regan will never struggle again and it brings a huge smile to my face to picture her walking and singing and talking with Jesus, but her family and everyone around her that loved her will struggle...Their faith and trust in God will get them through but would you please join me in praying for them?

To read about their journey and to be truly blessed and encouraged by Regan's story you can go to the Mills' Family blog. www.routefive.blogspot.com

Spring has Sprung!

2008-03-14T13:31:00.001-06:00

OK...so it's probably a bit too early to say that just yet...but it sure does feel good to have the sunshine and warm temps. I even broke the flip flops out yesterday and opened my windows for a bit today. My rule is 50 and we hit that...so it was a must. The grey days were beginning to wear on me and I was suffering from some major cabin fever. I'm just going to reiterate again how much I hate Winter and seeing it go is such a beautiful thing. I'm ready for all the rain to come and wash away all that this past season has brought. I was at Walmart today *sidenote* Does anyone else think Walmart is one of the most depressing places in the States? I do...at least the Beloit Walmart. Anyway...I was at walmart and all winter long they had these huge mounds of snow that had been plowed in the middle of their already cramped parking lot. Well today as I looked at the mounds melting I was blown away at what I saw. These mounds look like icy land fills. It is so disgusting to me how careless we have become. See...all that garbage was there but it was covered up by the beautiful white stuff (Ohhh...good sermon analogy!) I know this was seemingly nothing...but to me it just spoke volumes about the state of the community of Beloit. It's just so sad.

As far as life for me goes...I can just say it's interesting. I'm learning and experiencing new things. I'm growing in new ways. I'm looking forward to what God is doing in my life and who He's bringing in to it. Beloit is my home now. I feel comfortable in my skin here now. I got a roommate a little over a month ago now, and that's going really well. Now only has it helped me out financially in a huge way it's been really good for me. I was getting a bit too selfish in the way I was living and for some reason having someone living with you and seeing the way you live and act is a quick wake up call to being the person I really want to be.

On a completely different note, I have had the desire to learn something new lately. I've even been looking into taking a course or two at Blackhawk College just so I can get my hands into something else. My brain is bored.

So that's it. That's what's going on in life right now. I know...it's just so dang exciting you can barely contain yourself.

Things I Love

2008-02-07T11:54:00.000-06:00

I haven't done one of these posts in quite sometime and lately I have been really loving some things so I thought it was about time.

First off...

This is my new favorite movie. It was just such a beautiful expression of what music can do to people. And it wasn't typical. I just loved it and would suggest renting it. Not to mention buying the soundtrack. I had to buy it right after I watched the movie because I was so in love with Glen Hansard's voice and song writing.

I'm no Rachel Ray in the kitchen and chopping is not my forte by any means. But I got this little genius invention for Christmas and I love it. It's handy for everything...I even used to to cut up chicken the other night and it was perfect. My only complaint is that it's a bit tedious to clean...but I say it's worth it to get such nicely chopped veggies.

This is a great CD. The song writers (Ryan Post, Evan Savage, and others) are really talented. I think it will be interesting to see what happens with them. It's a really great CD but hard to get a hold of right now because they're only selling it at Eastview in Bloomington. You can listen to a few tracks though. www.fuel242.com. It says it's live...but I'm not sure how true that is. I'm sure some is live but from what I can hear most of it was done in a studio. I could be wrong though. Either way, it's a great listen.

iGoogle is go great. Everything you need all in one place. Mine has news, weather, my google calendar, my gmail, google talk, and of course an RSS feed from people.com.

I just got a new work computer and in the process of switching over I had a big scare. I thought I lost all of my pictures...over 1000 pictures...4 years worth. I was able to recover them but because of that I decided to get a Flickr account so I could keep my photos backed up with their original size. For $25 a year you have unlimited storage and it has really user friendly photo correction stuff. I think it's great. Check out my page.

This is hands down the best gym I have ever been to. I love it so much and I actually like going there to work out. It's pretty sweet. They have a state of the art cardio studio, state of the art weight training equipment, a seven lane lap swimming pool, a warm water therapy pool, and my favorite part...separate whirlpool, sauna, and steam room in the locker rooms.

So there ya have it. Things I love so far this year. And it's only February!

Booyah!

2008-01-06T16:43:00.000-06:00

Yeah...that's right. I said booyah. I'm going to Vegas in February. I'm so dang excited. I have not been on a real vacation in years. Like literal years. Needless to say, I can't wait.

In other news, I have this weird habit of getting into sports during playoff time. Normally, I could care less about baseball, but for some reason I always watch all the playoff stuff. And now it's happening with football. It's such a strange thing. Part of could be how awesome the games look on my TV!

Well, anyway...this is a pretty pointless blog. I promise someday soon I'll write something with some substance.

So this is the new year...

2008-01-01T00:56:00.001-06:00

...and I don't feel any different.

I love that Death Cab for Cutie song...and those lyrics just sum up this year. I had plans for this year. Somehow they got away from me. So here I am making plans in my head for 2008 wondering if I will be singing the same song next year at this time. I can only pray that I rise above.

'Wake up o sleeper. Rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you.'

So this is the New Year.
And I don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance

So this is the New Year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back.

Yet another post with no substance!

2007-11-26T20:50:00.000-06:00

Yes...sometimes I get bored a fill out surveys and this one was fun.

1.) When you walk in your front door, which room do you enter?
Living Room

2.)Do you have a dishwasher?
No...I miss having one a lot.

3.) Is your living room carpeted or does it have hardwood floors?
Hardwood

4.) Do you keep your kitchen knives on the counter or in a drawer?
Drawer

5.) House, apartment, duplex or trailer?
House that is an apartment

6.) How many bedrooms is it?
2

7.) Gas stove or electric?
Gas -- That is broke for the second time in a month.

8.) Do you have a yard?
A small one in back.

9.) What size TV is in the living room?
Small...but getting a new one for Christmas!

10.) Are your plates in the same cupboard as your cups?
Why yes they are.

11.) Is there a coffee maker sitting on your kitchen counter?
Not on the counter...on a shelf.

12.) What color is your kitchen?
Red

13.) What room is your computer in?
It's a laptop...wherever I want it.

14.) Are there pictures hanging in your living room?
Yes

15.) Are there any themes found in your home?
Sorta...Teal and Red throughout the house.

16.) What kind of laundry detergent do you use??
Right now Gain

17.) Do you use dryer sheets??
Yes...I need to buy some though....see, good think I'm filling this out.

18.) Do you have any curtains in your home?
Yes...still need some more though.

19) What color is your refrigerator?
White

20.) Is your house clean??
Not as clean as I'd like it.

21.) What room is the most neglected?
My bedroom, for sure.

22.) Are the dishes in your sink/dishwasher clean or dirty?
There aren't any in the sink right now.

23.) How long have you lived in your home?
Moved in June 1st.

24.) Where did you live before?
With the Pokel's in a little apartment above their garage. It was kinda fun.

25.) Do you have one of those fluffy toilet lid covers on your toilet?
Absolutely not.

26.) Do you have a scale anywhere in your house?
No

27.) How many mirrors are in your house?
4

28.) Look up. What do you see?
ceiling fan

29.)How many rooms in your house?
6

30.) Do you have a garage?
Yes but it's filled with my landlords stuff.

31.) What style construction is the house?
I don't know...old.

32.) How many closets does it have?
4

33.) How many levels?
Well the house is 4...my apt is 1.

34.) Are you planning on moving anytime soon?
Hope not. I love this place.

This made me happy!

2007-11-11T22:37:00.000-06:00

Which Office Character Are You?
	You are Pam. You are sweet and likable, but your shyness makes it hard for you to express yourself sometimes. Regardless, you are always there for your friends and will usually come out of your shell to help anyone.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Great Day

2007-11-05T19:57:00.000-06:00

I am so tired and so sore right now but it was totally worth it.

The creative arts team decided to take a day and get away from the office so we went to Devil's Lake to do some hiking. I thought I was going to hate it but it turned out to be one of the best days I've had in a really long time. It was just so beautiful up there. A lot of the leaves had already fallen, but it was still spectacular.

When I found out we were going I wasn't super excited because I didn't think I'd like it because of my fear of heights and stuff. Well...turns out I LOVED it. I wasn't as scared about going up as I was about coming down we took what my boss said was an 'easy' trail. Turns out it wasn't and to top it off we got off the trail and ended up climbing down these huge rocks. I was scared out of my mind and my legs were shaking like crazy. But with the help of my team, I made it down! It was just a really good feeling. We also went to an arcade in the Dells and had some fun too. It was just a really great day. I also just feel so blessed to be able to work where I do and with the people I do. It's wonderful.

And now I'm sitting by my first fire of the year thawing out from our cold day waiting for my favorite Italian place to deliver some food. What a great day.

Here's some pics of the beauty!

So this is gross...

2007-10-24T17:18:00.000-06:00

My start up page is MSN.com and all day I have seen this blurb about the 12 germiest places and was really trying to avoid reading it because I knew it would be gross. Well, I broke down and read it...curiosity got the best of me. And yes, it was gross. But I was also really shocked by some of the 12 places. The most shocking place: Transferring wet laundry to the dryer. I won't put the details here in case you're like me and are tyring to avoid knowing...but if you do want to know, here's the link.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21423163/

Lazy Saturday

2007-10-13T08:39:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty bored and having nothing important to say...so I haven't done one of these in a lonnnnnggg time. Here we go.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? Rent
2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? In Beloit? Probably Cafe Belwah.
3. Last time you puked from drinking? Never
4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Never
5. Name of your 2nd grade teacher? Mrs. Short
6. What do you really want to be doing right now? I want to be at an orchard.
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up? A teacher
8. How many colleges did you attend? Just one. LCC
9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?My house is freezing it's hoodie weather!
10. GAS PRICES First thought? I just deal with it.
11. If you could be anywhere and take someone with you...Who & where? An orchard with Lan.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? I didn't have to set it this morning.
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night? I hope this works out.
14. What chore do you despise? Folding laundry.
15. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery? Sure
16. Get up early or sleep in? Sleep in.
17. What is your favorite cartoon character? Simba
20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy? Star gaze.
21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing? Not falling for that.
22. Are you planning on remaining in your current field? I have no idea.
23. If you are not married, do you see yourself married in the next five yrs? I sure do hope so.
24. Your favorite lunch meat? Roast Beef
25. What do you get every time you go into a Wal-Mart? Gum
26. Beach or lake? Lake
27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?no
28. Who do you stalk on MySpace? no one.
29. Favorite guilty pleasure? US Weekly/People Mag
30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? Princess Diaries
31. What's "your" drink? Diet Coke
32. Cowboys or Indians? Cowboys
33. Cops or Robbers? Dumb question
34. Do you fall for the bad boy type? not typically.
35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best? I don't think anyone.
36. If you had to pick one, which cast member of Lost would you be? Kate...she gets both hot guys.
37. What do you want when you are sick? Sleep...be home.
38. Who from high school would you like to run into? Dave...and I do run into him...so that's nice.
39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? 100.9
42. Norm or Cliff? Norm. Cliff is a douche.
43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? I LOVE the Cosby Show
44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? n/a
45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work? haha...no
46. If you could get away with it, whom would you kill? No one.
47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Zach Braff
48. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? no
49. Last book you read for real? Dry - Agusten Burroughs
50. Do you have a teddy bear? Yep...Rudy. He's in my hope chest.
51. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? Probably Cornerstone
52. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? The Redwoods
53. Number of texts in a day? Probably like 10
54. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship? Relationship.
55. Pencil or pen? Pen
56. Bueller??? Bueller??? Bueller??? huh?
57. How many jobs have you had? I think 8
58. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Being a wife and a momma.
59. What do you think of the person that took this survey before you? Amy is beautiful inside and out. I don't get to see her enough.

Beautiful

2007-09-22T21:55:00.000-06:00

As I type right now there are 3 beautiful little Girls from Uganda sleeping in my bedroom on my bed and an air mattress...Rhoda, Martha, and Juliet. The Watato Children's Choir from Uganda Africa came to sing and dance at our Church this weekend. I opened my home up expecting to bless them...but they have blessed me so much more. All of the 18 children in the choir have lost one of both of their parents to the AIDS epidemic and they have been rescued from being forced to fight in a civil war that has been raging for 20 years in Uganda where children are being abducted and forced to fight. Children make of 80% of the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) which Joseph Kony is leading in what he maintains is a mandate from God to overthrow the Ugandan Government. This ware is being called the most neglected humanitarian emergency in the world today. Watoto exists as a way to 'raise future leaders' and provide a way out in what seems like an impossible situation. I thank God for organizations like this that just show me what the Church really looks like. It's just such a beautiful thing.

All that being said...for about 2 years now God has been putting Uganda on my heart and in my path. Please pray for me, as I made a decision tonight that I will go there. I don't know how, or with who, or when or any of that. But I will.

**If you are in a position anywhere to book the choir...do it. It's incredible.

For more info visit www.watoto.com or www.invisiblechildren.com

Ode to Fall

2007-09-14T23:29:00.000-06:00

I love so many things about Fall. It is by far my favorite season. I always think Spring is...but Spring never seems to mutter up near the amount of feeling and emotion that Fall does for me. Isn't it a strange thing how sights and smells can make you so nostalgic? I love that God created us that way. The air today in Beloit was just so crisp and cool that I couldn't help but think of all the things I love about Fall and i got so excited about them. I love the obvious things...the beautiful colors of changing trees...the sound of leaves crunching beneath your feet...Halloween...pumpkins...the cool air (hoodie weather is my favorite). But then there are the not so obvious things that I really love. I love how most Autumn evenings are perfect for star gazing. For grabbing a blanket and a hot beverage and just watching the beautiful night sky. As much as I hate to see them go...I love the smell of burning leaves. I love the quiet that the cool air seems to bring. I love it when a few leaves get trapped in a whirlwind and just circle forever...I could watch that all day. I love sleeping with the windows open and all bundled up in blankets. I love getting fall scented candles so my house can welcome the change of climate. I love any and all Fall Festivals...and the tastes of fall! Mmmmm...apple cider, carmel apples, spiced pumpkin lattes. I love to go to bonfires in the fall. I think I'm going to get a fire pit for my back yard just so I can have one...or five! It just makes me so happy to know that Fall is almost here. I dare say it is here...

Busyness

2007-09-09T13:29:00.001-06:00

Today marks a brand new season of busyness...I'm not even sure that is a word, but whatever. I do what I want!
Summer is already busy enough...but once Labor day is over, it's a new kind of busy. The high school kick off is tonight and I'm going to be helping out with that again this year. I kind of started at the end of the year last year and enjoyed it...but being at CIY and forming relationships with the kids made me want to continue on this year. So that will keep me busy. But good busy.

Life is really good right now. God is good and He blessed me daily. A lot of times I miss the blessings He's pouring out on me, but when I take time to stop and reflect it's just a beautiful thing. I'm just excited to see what He has in store for me in the near future. I feel like something is going to be changing. I'm just not sure what. So for now, I will wait patiently. Wait on what the Lord has for me.

In other news, my mom is coming to visit next week. She's just coming Tuesday night and leaving Wednesday...but she's coming and I'm really excited about that. I miss her a lot. It's a strange thing being far away from my mom. She's always been no more than 45 minutes away and though I tend to think I'm pretty independent...there was comfort in knowing she wasn't very far away. I wonder how long it takes to get used to that? Or if I ever will. We'll see.

So anyway...to summarize, life is busy...God is good....I miss my mom.

Ticked

2007-09-05T14:52:00.000-06:00

So I'm bummed right now. Two months ago I bought a nano. Today they came out with a new version. Not only does it play video and has a wider screen...it's cheaper and comes in my favorite color! The same thing happened when I bought my last iPod. 2 weeks after I bought the last one I had, they came out with color screens. Great that Apple is so innovative. Sucky that I always seem to buy at the wrong time.

And for any techies out there. They also released the iPod Touch. Basically just the iPhone without the phone...it's pretty sweet. Also, I bet all those crazies who had to run right out and buy the iPhone are kicking themselves today. They dropped the price by $200.

Sweet Sleep, Sweep Me Away

2007-09-04T23:13:00.000-06:00

For some strange reason lately I have felt like something big is going to be changing my life. I just took a new job so I know it can't be that. But whatever this thing is, I think God has laid something on my heart to prepare for. I just have no idea what it is...but I feel like it's something to be excited about. However, because of said 'big change' it is rare that I fall asleep before 1am these days because I cannot stop thinking of what this could be. Thus, my blogging nonsense at 12:20 am.

Prayer

2007-08-22T22:05:00.000-06:00

Would you please say a prayer for my friends at Central United Protestant Church in Richland, Washington tonight. It's the church I interned at for a summer a couple years ago. I just found out that they lost someone very dear to them this morning. Chris Culver was the Contemporary Worship Leader and a friend to many of the students I severed with. He was a devoted man of God above all, but also a devoted husband and father to four small children. This was very unexpected from what I understand and naturally very hard for the students (and everyone) to deal with. CUP has a very special place in my heart and I ache inside for them tonight. Would you pray with me?

Blah

2007-08-19T16:29:00.000-06:00

It has been raining in Beloit since Friday night and the forecast is calling for rain all week long. It's bumming me out. I don't know what it is about rain that does that to people. I like a good day or so of rain...but 10 days straight is not my idea of a good time.

Speaking of excessive rain. Praise the Lord I am not a homeowner at this time...because I could not afford to repair what this rain has done to my wall:

I was also sick all weekend...still am. I just hope this goes away like tonight because I have a crazy week ahead of me. It's weird because I never get sick and when I do I can usually manage and go about my business fine. But whatever I have right now is really limiting me. I went to church this weekend and didn't have any volunteers to run the coffee shop so I was running it by myself (I did have Eli this morning and she's awesome) but anyway...so last night was fine, but this morning, I don't know what happened. I'm not sure if I was breaking a fever or what, but I got so sick I could barely stand...and we were crazy busy so it just didn't help at all. I ended up having to leave and go home. I hate feeling so sick and there is just nothing you can do about it.

I also decided church people really really bother me. Not all church people. I don't want this to be a sweeping generalization. But some people that I encounter through serving at the coffee shop just shock me. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I shouldn't except people to be any different just because they are at church. But I still can't help it...it just irks me. This morning I had a woman take a sip of her coffee and look at me and say with the most disgusted, snotty voice you can imagine, "you might as well just through that away...that's garbage. I could make a whole pot of coffee by adding water to that." To that I say GO MAKE YOUR OWN FREAKING COFFEE! No one forced her to buy her coffee from us. If she wants bland nasty coffee she could walk 50 feet and get the free coffee we offer (and don't get me started on the fact that we still offer that just to appease people). If she would have politely asked me to add water to hers, or informed me she thought it was too strong, maybe I would have taken her suggestion to heart. And it's not just her. I get at least 3 people like that a weekend. One man commented under his breath one day, "you can tell this place is run by volunteers." Why yes sir, it is, and if you think you could do any better, then by all means, please join the team...we're pretty shorthanded!

The problem is, people seem to think the Church is a democracy. And it's not. It's not at all. Jesus never said we should take a vote and see what people think. He said do what is healthy for the body. And if it's not healthy...cut it off.

I guess the bottom line and the reason I'm so fired up is this: I'm just not the kind of person who handles being walked all over very well and I feel like because I work at a church I am forced to do that. Okay, rant over.

Tag, you're it.

2007-08-16T20:46:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged...I'm supposed to put 8 random facts about myself and then tag three more people...so here goes.

1. I had cat scratch fever when I was five. Yes, it is in fact a real thing. I had to get surgery and everything.
2. When I was in middle school I went through a shoplifting phase...but the only things I ever stole were office supplies from Walgreens. (I have since repented...I feel no shame)
3. If I am bored and and want to get out of the house, 9 times out of 10 I will just go to Target.
4. I am terrible with money. (See fact #3)
5. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people jingle the change in their pockets.
6. I do a weird name association thing in my head when I meet new people. I think of a word that starts with the first letter of their name to put before their name...it is more often than not inappropriate.
7. I have an unhealthy obsession with purses.
8. I hate Christmas music.

I have no idea who reads this, so I don't really know who to tag. Let's try Abby, Courtney, and Jeff?

Guilty Pleasure

2007-08-14T17:13:00.001-06:00

I love the show Big Brother. I get so excited every summer because I know it will be on. I know, ridiculous. This season is no different. I tune in when I can and call my mom for details when I miss it. But out of all the season's this one is by far the most painful to watch. There is a father and daughter on there who have been estranged for 5 years. Watching their 'reunion' was uncomfortable. There was a couple who had a bitter break up. Watching their 'reunion' was embarrassing. Watching an over-emotional girl cry on nearly every episode is humiliating. But by far, the most painful thing of all is watching one of the house guests...nick named Evel Dick...verbally attack nearly all of the house guests. This man knows exactly what to say to get people exactly where it hurts and it really just pains me to watch. In recent episodes his attacks have gone to a believer in the house.

And this bring me to my point. The way this woman reacts to his attacks are not at all what the Word has called us to. I feel terrible for her because I can see myself being that exact same way. The insults he hurls at her are just ridiculous. It would take a lot of will power to not fight back...to not get angry...to not sin. But this is the reality we live in. Christians on TV are rarely shown in a positive light. They are almost always shown as hypocrites. They are for the most part considered naive, un-realistic, and more often that not, unintelligent. It's just so sad to me. I know there is editing that is done that makes it look extra bad...but is there a way for a Christian on Reality TV to come off looking at all normal?

Maybe we aren't normal. Maybe that is the whole point. Christ called us to live radically. Is it possible to do that without being ridiculed? I can't imagine what Paul went through. It a narcissistic way, it is comforting to know this kind of torment has always been around...but it's just really hard to understand why. I just have to remember...in the end, every knee will bow...every tongue will confess.

And just to leave you all with my favorite thing that Jameka has said...

"See...that's what I love about God. God is so gangsta!"

Disturbing...

2007-08-10T13:59:00.000-06:00

Upon a recent visit to Old Navy I found something quite disturbing. I walked in, and there before me was a table full of colored denim jeans. We're talking 1980's colored denim. Red, Purple, Green, Brown, and Gray. I just could not believe my eyes. If you see these and like them, or already own a pair, I am terribly sorry. I will not judge you. I just can't believe they have made their way back into our culture. Crazy crazy crazy.

Life Moves Fast

2007-08-07T22:15:00.000-06:00

Man...I am terrible at keeping up with this thing. Life is just moving at lighting speed lately it's just nuts. Lots has been going on since my last post so here's a little update on my life.

Abby and Andy's wedding was fabulous. I loved it. I loved them. I loved their wedding. I loved seeing everyone. It was just an all around good time. They are just one of those couples who I have always rooted for. They are not afraid to show their love for each other. They follow hard after God. They are a blast! And they are just all together great so it was really great to be able to share their day with them.

The weekend of the wedding was a whirl wind because I got back here on Sunday and was off on my next adventure Monday. That adventure being CIY. I had never been before so I was really excited about it. And it turned out really great. I loved getting to know some of the students at Central better and I loved seeing God work in their lives. It was just a great all around experience. Something that really stuck a chord with me throughout the week the pain that kids have their lives though. It's just so crazy that some of the things happening to our students has has become so typical. There are things that our kids our experiencing that no one should ever have to go through. Especially 15 and 16 year olds. I just have to know and trust God is working.

Since I have been back things have been crazy, as usual. I have been really really homesick so that is kind of a bummer. It's frustrating because in Bloomington I hated my job but loved my life. Here is the opposite. I love my job, but I'm just not satisfied with my life. Making friends has been a real struggle. I have Lana but she's married and busy and I have Daren, but he's leaving so it's just been kind of hard lately. I just have a really hard time with surface level friendships because I know how great true authentic friendships are. I think it's impossible to go from having such authentic relationships to surface level ones because you know what it's supposed to be like. You know God had created us for genuine friendship. I know part of it is my fault. I has always taken me a long time to open up to people and it has always been hard for me to initiate things. I just have to keep praying through it. My little Bethy came to visit the last couple days and I always feel extra homesick when I am around people from home for awhile and then have to get back to real life so that's probably where all this is coming from. I didn't intend on writing about all this...it just came out.

So anyway...that's life right now

Oh yeah...one other thing. As of tonight I am officially a Gold Canyon Candle Demonstrator. Buy stuff from me!

Crap...forgot this too. I have now seen Hairspray twice and hope to again. I love it so much. If that movie doesn't make you want to get up and dance there might be something wrong with you and you should consider seeing a doctor right away.

Why Illinois is Better Than Wisconsin

2007-07-16T18:49:00.000-06:00

I went home over the weekend to go boating with some friends out at my Dads. I was only home for a day but it made me so homesick. I know that God has brought me to Beloit and I know this is where I'm supposed to be right now...it's just hard sometime. In light of that I will make a list (because who doesn't like a good list) of why IL is so much better that the Beloit...aka, the butthole of America.

Mom
Beth
Mandy
Dave
Matt
Knowing roads like the back of my hand. I love when I can drive through the country and know exactly where I am even when I can't see anything else.
Boating. I love boating. It's one of my favorite things to do.
Avanti's. Only the best cheap Italian you can get. And don't get me started on their ranch.
Green Gables. It's not that the food is that great (it's pretty good) but it's just a must after a day of boating.
Illinois night skies are amazing. I don't know if it's all the factories here in Beloit or what...but the sky just never looks the same.
Bloomington. I think it may always be my favorite town. Not sure why...I just love it.
There is no smell of a potato chip factories lingering in the are. There is a Frito Lay factory here in Beloit and it smells like straight up butt funk. I hate it.
Right along the same lines of knowing the roads...knowing where things are. I'm sure I'll figure it out around here...but it's an annoying process.
And I'll end again with my friends. Mom, Beth, Mandy, Dave, Matt.

Blah. Stupid Wisconsin.

Chasing Rainbows

2007-07-06T22:57:00.001-06:00

Last night I saw a double rainbow. It was the strangest setting. It hadn't rained and the clouds were really dark...not the type of climate a rainbow usually comes in at all. But they were the most vibrant rainbows I have ever seen. They were beautiful. I always carry my camera in my purse, but of course last night I had left it sitting on the dining room table. Bummer. But anyway...seeing that last night i was just overcome with such a sense of hope. I think God created rainbows for that very reason. It was after the flood he gave Noah a rainbow and promised he would not do it again. Hope for a better tomorrow. I always have the hardest time expressing in words what God is doing in my heart, but right now I just know that he is telling me there is hope. Hope in despair. Hope in the good times. Hope in the bad. Hope that things in my life are going to be different than what I think. I thank God for rainbows.

If Songs Could Be Held

2007-06-28T15:56:00.000-06:00

Life has been busy lately. And I am tired in a lot of ways. I have gone to blog several times but when I go to type, things just come out sloppy so I quit. Forgive me if this is follows that same format. I am very scatterbrained right now.

This week has been fun. I took a day off and helped lead a trip to Noah's Ark (the largest water park in the world!) on Tuesday with a group of middle schooler's. The trip was fun. Things I learned while there:
1. I am a HUGE baby. I don't know why I am scared of so many things...but I am.
2. Make sure when going to water parks you wear a proper swim suit. If you're not careful your suit will end up where it does not belong.
3. Being around middle school boys just showed me all over again I will adopt to insure I have no boys. I can't deal with them.
4. Middle school boys are naughty!
5. Wear shoes you can fasten to your feet. The ground is hot and hard...and flip flops sure don't do very well.
6. Make sure your sunscreen is applied evenly.
7. Don't make the guards mad.
8. Middle school girls are BOY CRAZY. Especially for 'Mr. Clark.'
9. Don't ever believe Daren (the youth minster). If he says something is 'really fun with a huge twist' that means it sucks...bad. If he says something 'goes really slow and is no big deal' it actually goes really fast and is pitch black and plunges you out like a toilet.
10. I have really great friends here that I love very much.

I also got to go see Rosie Thomas last night. She is one of my favorite artists. Her songs just resonate so much with me. I actually found myself getting emotional during a couple of her songs. They are just so beautiful. Not only is she an incredible artist....she was hysterical. I'm talking laugh out loud funny. If you ever get a chance to see her do it...she's great. The traffic there was terrible so we missed the opening band...but still managed to make it right up front.

I'm excited to see how the rest of this summer pans out...so far it's great. Still left:

Tubing trip down Turtle Creek
Fourth of July/Lana and Daren's B-day festivities
The Clark/Harris Wedding
Boating at my dad's

I love summer.

I'll leave you all with these photos and a video of Rosie. Blessings friends.

Feels like home...

2007-06-05T08:33:00.000-06:00

Well, I have now officially moved to Beloit. This whole transition thing is rough. But I'm here now, and it's beginning to feel like home. I had been living with a family from the church for awhile and now I'm in my own place and it's great. I got an apartment that was an old house. It's super cute and I'm 4 minutes from the church so that's awesome. I am also living right above the Clarks and that's super fun too. Makes living alone feel a little bit safer. I need to find a roommate at some point. I can afford the apartment on my own, it's just tight. I'll post some pictures later.

In other news...my pups turned 1 a couple weeks ago...they grow up so fast! (Yes, I realize I'm a huge nerd.)

Then:

And now...

...and a really bad haircut in between.

I like blogspot...

2007-05-31T09:27:00.000-06:00

Well, I think I'm giving up on Xanga. This is where it's at. I just still want someplace to blog. So here I am! Love you long time.